the Beginning
by Enraptured
Summary: NanoFate. Set to the lyrics of Innocent Starter, this follows Fate in MSLN as she struggles with her Mother's wishes, and eventually, her relationship with Nanoha.


**The Beginning**

By: Enraptured.

x**x**x

Slender fingers traced their path through reddish brown hair, bristly appearance betraying soft strands of fur. A contented rumble escaped from the giant wolf's throat, and for a moment, the night seemed so peaceful. The beautiful night lights of the city could be seen through the massive floor-to-ceiling window, taunting. An insinuation of a bright future she'd never have. The moon was full and round, its cold beams dancing off the strands of golden hair held up by two black ribbons.

It seemed _too_ peaceful.

The wolf looked up then, cobalt eyes piercing. Burgundy eyes met their gaze evenly, with the blonde girl shifting to stroke her familiar's head.

A gruff voice shattered the silence.

"You're worried."

A blink, a pause, and lips parted to speak.

"I'm fine."

The standard reply from the girl annoyed, but did not surprise, the wolf. The big animal was used to its master's usual reply, but that didn't mean it was blind to the way the girl was gripping her black dress uneasily, or oblivious to the furrow in her troubled brow.

"Fate." The wolf's growl was warning.

Fate Testarossa smiled humorlessly, letting her eyelids flutter close. She knew better than to try and hide her anxiety from her familiar. Her one and only companion had been by her side for years, and was the only one who even cared if she lived or died.

But then again, maybe that had something to do with the fact that if a master died, the familiar died along with her.

_**You hugged your knees to yur chest  
Shaking with perpetual unease in the corner of the room  
Fearing the "truth" you know, you closed the door**_

The gray leather sofa was chilly against bare skin, and Fate shivered involuntarily, hugging her knees close to her chest.

Though she wished it was only the cold she was shaking from.

The stillness dragged on for eternity, until Fate spoke again.

"I don't want to keep Mother waiting for too long."

The wolf's growls got louder then, as they always did when that demon was mentioned. With lips pulled back to reveal razor teeth, Arf barely contained a snarl. Fate opened her eyes to glance at her familiar, sensing the sudden tension in the air. Fate knew that Arf was uncomfortable in this new environment, with Fate risking her life for what Arf would call an unworthy cause.

She disapproved of her familiar putting down her Mother's wishes so casually, as if they were some offhand remark from a stranger. Fate wished that Arf would be more serious about their mission.

"Arf..." Fate started, having gone through this dozens of times.

"I'm worried about _you_, Fate," the wolf cut in, leaping up to place two front paws on either side of the young mage. "Using wide area searching magic takes up a lot of physical strength, yet you're hardly eating anything, and barely resting."

"Arf-

"Day after day I watch helplessly as you continue to throw your life away getting those Jewel Seeds, coming back all bloodied and exhausted only to continue searching for _more_ of those damn things. You don't eat, you don't sleep, and the few times you get into bed, I lie awake listening to you toss and turn. Tell me, is that devil really worth all that?!" The giant wolf shook with pent-up frustration, hating to say such words but needing to all the same.

"Arf, don't say that. She's my Mother..." Fate whispered brokenly, turning away to escape those intense blue eyes.

The effort Arf took to contain her snapping retort was tremendous.

"Your wound isn't something you can take lightly either," the wolf continued after a while, voice trembling with barely suppressed anger. Anger at that demon, and at her naïve master. _Furious_ with herself for not being able to do anything to stop her master's pain.

"…I'm fine."

Fate's customary reply was enough to send Arf crazy. The wolf wanted to jump up and shake her master, to force some sense into the blonde. She wanted Fate to admit her pain, to say something, _anything_, other than "I'm fine". She wanted to be able to do something to relieve her master of her burden, but cruel as it was, she could only watch helplessly as her master drew deeper and deeper into the lie she had built around herself.

The beautiful, deadly, lie that her entire existence was centered around.

"I'm fine, because I'm strong." Fate repeated, as if reassuring herself.

Arf slumped back then, closing her eyes in defeat. She could do nothing for her master, nothing but to follow and obey Fate's orders as they fought for a cause that drove them closer to their doom.

High above their heads, sat a lone, framed picture on a shelf. A picture of a blonde girl and her kind, smiling mother.

A promise of a future that would never be.

_**You found that "truth" in a gentle lie and took refuge in a dream  
An ocean of loneliness dyed deep blue, known by no one**_

The harsh smack of leather on skin sliced through the air as easily as the whip burned against flesh, reverberating around the cavernous hall almost as loudly as the girl's screams.

The girl bit her lower lip till it bled, choking back cries as she silently prayed for the punishment to stop. Threads of dark magic bound her arms, hanging her suspended in a cross shape above the floor. Already, the grey stone beneath her feet was stained crimson with droplets of blood, but again and again the whip came crashing hungrily down, tearing through her clothes to attack bare skin.

Head hung, crystal tears fell from under clenched eyelids, and Fate silently pleaded, _begged_, for the beating to stop. Harsh gasping racked her slim body, sending her into a fit of spasms. The whip was again raised, and Fate tensed herself for the blow, but miraculously, it never came.

Hardly daring to look up, Fate tried desperately to keep her breathing under control.

"A mere four?"

The question hung heavily in the air, the cold, cruel voice alone enough to send unwanted shivers down Fate's spine.

Precia Testarossa lifted her whip, lips curving slightly when Fate tensed immediately at that simple action. Pausing, she observed her daughter. Fate's barrier jacket was ripped in many places, revealing angry red gashes which dripped blood. A mixture of tears and sweat trickled down her face, while burgundy eyes screamed with fear and despair.

She licked her lips hungrily. What a beautiful sight.

"This is terribly disappointing."

"Yes," Fate whispered, voice hoarse from all her screaming. "I'm sorry, Mother."

Fists clenched, fingernails dug into palms, nearly drawing blood. _Why_? Fate wanted to scream. _Why is it that my best is not enough? Why am I so weak?_

The Devil stepped closer then, one hand reaching up to cup her daughter's cheek. Amidst all the pain, Fate couldn't help but wonder at how cold her Mother's touch had become.

"Do you understand, Fate? You are my daughter, the sole offspring of the Great Mage Precia Testarossa."

Yes. She understood. She was her Mother's daughter, after all. It was her duty to collect the Jewel Seeds, to fulfill her Mother's dream. Mother was counting on her.

Self-loathing filled the young girl. She had failed her Mother again. She _deserved_ this punishment.

"This is why, Fate, I want you to remember."

The hand dropped from her cheek, and Precia tightened her grip on the whip.

Burgundy eyes widened in utter fear.

A flick of Precia's hand, and Fate was screaming again, screaming as the whip tore at her skin, and with it, took away her remaining shred of hope.

_**Concealed in that earnest thought  
Is the sadness which wounds your heart**_

"It wasn't cruel, Mother was thinking of me when she did this." Fate protested weakly, trying to wave away her concerned familiar. Not very easy to do then she was being held up solely by Arf.

"Fate!" Arf was crying now, begging her master to understand, to see things the way they were. She shook Fate hard, ignoring the fact that she was causing Fate more pain. Her master's skin was so scarred that Arf barely knew where to put her hands, terrified that her touch would worsen Fate's wounds.

"After all, we are mother and daughter," Fate continued, determinedly ignoring her familiar's pleas.

"I'm sure that once I return with every jewel seed, mother will smile again." She was reassuring herself as much as Arf, and Arf knew it.

They both did.

"Fate…" Arf pleaded silently, knowing that it was futile. Still, she had to try. It was her duty to protect her master from any harm. Arf would have given up her life without a second thought to save Fate, but it frustrated the wolf to realize that she couldn't protect Fate from herself.

A metallic click woke Arf out of her reverie, and she was shocked to find Fate already clipping on her cloak.

Arf wanted to shout at her master. She doubted that Fate could even summon enough energy to power Bardiche, much less cast any spell, what on earth did she think she was doing? Fate could barely walk, let alone fight, where the hell did she think she was going?!

"So let's go. This time I'm very sure I will make no mistakes."

Arf said nothing. She stood silently, helping Fate to her feet, and followed loyally behind her master as she spiraled further into the darkness.

What else could she do?

_**The secret in your eyes, my gentle love is the truth behind your smile  
That seems to draw me in, I'm going to tell you this  
When you've felt my love, it's fragile warmth will overflow and separate you from the past  
Because I am forever by your side, that sad shadow need no longer confuse you**_

Attacks clashed, the impact nearly knocking Fate backwards. Gritting her teeth, the blonde activated her sonic move, appearing almost instantly behind the enemy mage. The brunette didn't even have time to comprehend what was going on before she was hit with a Thunder Smasher, and blasted clean off her feet. Even the trees shook with the impact, and Fate winced to see the white mage slam into the ground.

No. She couldn't feel pity at a time like this. Tightening her grip on Bardiche, she hardened her resolve. That girl was an enemy, an obstacle standing between Fate and the Jewel Seed.

And like all obstacles, this one would have to be taken down.

Ignoring the drain on her magic, Fate pumped even more energy into Bardiche, watching as the lightning blade flared even brighter.

"Scythe Slash!"

Speeding towards the enemy at incredible velocity, Fate raised her weapon and delivered the killing blow that would end the brunette's life in a swift slash.

The white mage clenched her eyes, waiting for the attack that never came.

Fate herself was surprised, staring with disbelief at her traitorous arm, which had pulled back at the last possible second. She said nothing for a moment, wondering why she didn't take her opponent's life when she had the chance.

Long lashes fluttered open to reveal the most beautiful eyes Fate had ever seen, their clear cerulean unrivaled by anything she had ever witnessed. Strangely unable to look away from that mesmerizing gaze, she almost forgot to collect the Jewel Seed that her opponent's device had expelled.

Snapping back to her senses, Fate jerked away from the other mage, intent on getting as far away as possible from her rival. She found herself terrified, terrified of those innocent blue eyes that offered something far beyond what Fate had ever experienced. She had to get out of here, now.

"Wait!"

A lyrical voice quite unlike anything the blonde had ever heard before. It reminded her of an angel's song. Fate stopped, despite wanting nothing more than to leave that instant.

"Never appear before us again, if you can help it. If something like this happens again, I may not be able to stop."

It was supposed to be a threat, but Fate knew that it was more of a warning, a plea for her opponent to stay away. Something in her didn't want to have to kill the innocent white mage.

"Your name… What's your name?"

The simple, innocent question stumped Fate. Never before had anyone asked her for her name. All her senses were screaming at her to run, to flee before it was too late.

"… Fate. Fate Testarossa." She wondered why she had felt so compelled to answer.

"Um, I'm-"

Fate took off before it was too late, those intense blue eyes burned into her memory forever.

_**Like a child you seek only aspirations  
But finding nothing  
You just lose sight of what is dear to you**_

They were fighting again, the White mage and the Black mage, though this time, above rooftops as they struggled to seal the Lost Logia.

The burgundy eyed girl launched herself at the Jewel Seed, heedless to the danger she was putting herself in. To the disbelief of her opponent and her familiar, she latched onto the seed, clasping her fingers tightly around the tiny sapphire gem.

_Everything she had ever fought for…_

"Fate!" Arf screamed in horror, too stunned to even move. Even the brunette lowered her broken staff, staring incredulously at the reckless act.

_Everything that she had ever wished for..._

The Jewel Seed seemed to explode then, releasing waves of pure energy to great that it shook the buildings around them.

Pain. Agonizing, unbelievable pain tore through Fate like razor bullets. Her hands felt like they were being burned, but still she held on, desperate. She collapsed to her knees, legs no longer enough to support her weight.

"Stop," she whispered, praying with all her might that she would succeed. "Stop!"

_Everything that she ever wanted…_

"Stop!" She was crying now, begging for it to stop. "Stop_, please!_"

"Fate! No, it's too dangerous!" Arf was screaming, howling, pleading for her master to let go, to let go of just this one stupid seed. Just let go, and everything would be all right. Just let go, and maybe she wouldn't have to die.

Fate wasn't stupid. She knew how incredibly dangerous it was to attempt sealing the Jewel Seed with her bare hands, and how she could potentially lose her life if she failed.

But her life in exchange to have her Mother smile again…

It was worth it, wasn't it?

_Everything that she had ever dreamed of… _

It would all be alright if she could seal this seed.

She could make her Mother happy, and maybe her Mother would smile again.

Wouldn't she?

Bright yellow rings formed under her feet, her own special power signature. She poured forth everything she had, hoping against hope that it was enough.

"P-Please… Stop…"

Somehow, somewhere, she heard a distant click that signified the sealing of a Jewel Seed. Her last conscious thought before she collapsed was, strangely, not on the seed, or on her Mother, but on a pair of haunting cerulean eyes that promised things she didn't dare to dream of.

_**You want to obtain the power to protect  
Happiness un-decorated by that which is within the "ordinary" and "usual"  
Living in the present, straight-forwardly  
Unconfused by glances of the past; that is the only answer which comes to mind**_

All around her, the thunderstorm she herself had conjured was raging. Everything was going according to plan, she had activated the remaining six Jewel Seeds, now all she needed to do was to seal them.

Near her, yet another twister started to form, a small cyclone to add to the few dozens of hurricanes that swirled dangerously close.

Nearly blown into the ocean by a particularly strong gust of wind, Fate looked worriedly as Bardiche dimmed. Her magic was running perilously low.

Okay, so maybe not everything was going according to plan.

She had barely enough energy to keep herself flying, having to feed the storm, there was no way she could seal all six seeds.

Just then, there was a flash of pink light, and Fate stared in shock at the mage that had suddenly appeared before her.

"Fate-chan! Let's help each other and seal those Jewel Seeds!"

Wine red eyes widened in disbelief as a stream of magic poured forth from Raising Heart, supplying Bardiche with the power she lacked to feed him.

_What is this girl doing?_

Bardiche flared back to life, recharged by the magical power that Raising Heart had provided.

Fate could do nothing but stare speechlessly at the girl, who smiled at her and shot her a wink.

Fate had never seen anyone winking before. It looked… interesting. Cute, even.

The blonde blinked, just processing what she had thought. Shaking her head to clear any weird thoughts, she shifted her grip on Bardiche. Activating his Sealing Form, she determinedly looked away from the brunette.

A distant voice reached her ears over the roar of the thunders, but she couldn't tell where it came from.

"The thing that you want most when you're feeling alone and sad, isn't to hear "everything's alright", or the kindness of others, but rather…"

Fate poured all her remaining magic into sealing the three seeds, trying to focus on her task instead of the voice in her head.

"Fate-chan?"

They had done it. Fate looked up from the six jewel seeds that she and her rival had sealed together. It was weird having to work with someone else, but Fate quite liked it.

"Fate-chan?"

It was also weird hearing someone call her 'Fate-chan', but Fate quite liked that, too.

The brunette's face was earnest, eyes clear and genuine as she held a fist against her heart. Tears gathered in burgundy eyes, and her heart clenched painfully when the White mage spoke words that Fate had never before heard in her life.

"I want us to be friends."

**  
**_**In the red sky at dawn, a rainbow is painted and the darkness encompasses everything  
My small couragous words cross that sky  
Even if the future is captured, even if the distance vanishes, this prayer will not end  
I long to convey to you that unchanged feeling**_

"Let's see if you can take _this_ variation of my Divine Buster!"

Fate's eyes widened at the magic that the white mage was calling forth. She moved instinctively away, but found herself bound in place by magical binds that refused to let her go. She struggled in vain, tearing at her binds uselessly.

_No…_

"Starlight…

_No! _

BREAKER!"

The next moment, Fate's world had exploded in shades of pink. There was pink everywhere, roaring in her ears, tearing into her skin, all she could see was pink and more pink. It hurt, yes, but strangely, it didn't hurt as much as she thought it would. Somewhere amidst all the pink, she felt a beckoning warmth, a reassuring presence that comforted her and drew away her pain.

But _damn_, it still hurt.

Bardiche slipped from her slackened grasp, and Fate fell.

She fell, down and down, spiraling towards the cold, vast, ocean that threatened to devour her, a cruel satire of the dark lies she had sunk too far in to ever get out.

She shattered the surface of the freezing water and was immediately dragged under its swirling depths. The icy water numbed her senses, she couldn't even feel the pain anymore. All Fate knew was that it was a cold, mind-numbing relief, and that she should have done this ages ago. The freezing nothingness was better than what she had to go through.

Her limbs lost their feeling, and Fate let her body go slack as she sunk further and further into the sea. Her lungs screamed for air, but she ignored their cry. This was it, then. The end of everything she had ever fought for.

She was about to close her eyes, when she spotted a flash of white through the murky waters. A moment later, there was a strong grip on her arm, and Fate felt an enveloping warmth where the hand had grabbed her.

Breaking through the surface of the water with the motionless girl in her arms, the White mage hovered mid-air and gasped for breath, praying that the blonde was alright.

"Fate-chan?" The brunette asked frantically, panic as she'd never known filling her. A gentle shake, before the call was repeated, a little louder.

"Fate-chan!"

Fate mumbled something incoherent and opened her eyes then, squinting weakly up at the angel that had saved her. She tried to speak, but no words would come out.

All she could think of was how warm it had suddenly become, and how beautiful her angel was.

Numb fingers grasped at the fabric of the White mage's jacket, desperately seeking the warmth it offered. Momentarily forgetting everything she was fighting for, Fate buried her head in the white fabric, seeking fleeting solace and comfort in the arms of her angel. Arms tightened around her, and the last thing that crossed Fate's mind before she slipped into darkness was that although she had suffered her first and only loss in a battle, the sky had never before looked so beautiful.

_**"The beginning" you softly whisper to me  
That promise between just the two of us****Is an unchanging eternal magic**_

_**Even if the future is captured, even if the distance vanishes  
I clearly remember your voice  
Calling my name  
And like on that day, I will smile**_

"I came here today… to give you an answer."

Fate hesitated, wondering if she could really do this. It was her first time, after all. She had never felt more uncertain and unsure about anything in her life, but if there was something she knew, it was that she wanted to try this first, just one shot before she left.

"To those words you said to me… 'I want us to be friends'," Fate faltered for a moment, before strengthening her resolve and ploughing on.

"I thought if we could to it, if it would be alright with you," Fate darted a quick glance at the brunette next to her, looking away quickly when she met slate blue eyes. A blush formed itself on her cheeks, and Fate bit her lip in embarrassment.

"But… I don't know what to do..." Fate whispered helplessly, hating herself for knowing so little. "That's why I want you to tell me, how we can become friends."

She turned then, to face the white mage. Poignant blue eyes were filled with tears, and Fate wondered if she had said something wrong. The silence stretched for the longest time, and Fate started to get uncomfortable. Maybe this was a mistake. Perhaps she didn't deserve to have any friends after all.

She was about to apologize and leave, when her angel spoke.

"It's simple. Becoming friends with someone is really simple. All you have to do is to look into their eyes and say their name."

"I'm Takamachi Nanoha. Just call me Nanoha."

"…Nano..ha…?" It came out more uncertain than Fate would have liked, but the look of utter delight that erupted across Nanoha's face made Fate feel all warm and tingly inside.

"Nanoha," she repeated, slightly more sure of herself this time. She tasted the word on her lips, liking the way it sounded. "Nanoha."

"Yes," Nanoha was crying now, tears flowing freely down flushed cheeks as she heard the words she'd never thought she'd hear from the blonde. "Yes," she whispered, voice shaking with joy.

"Nanoha," Fate's voice was stronger and louder now. She liked the saying Nanoha's name, it filled her with a warmth that she had never felt before. Why hadn't she made friends sooner?

"Thank you, Nanoha."

Nanoha took Fate's hand then, holding it tightly in hers and never wanting to let go. She poured forth everything she wanted to say but couldn't put into words, hoping that the simple touch was enough. She wanted to comfort her friend, to tell her not to be sad over her mother's death, to assure her that everything was going to be alright. She wanted to promise Fate that they'd meet again, definitely.

Fate looked curiously at the small hand that held her own, before smiling and covering Nanoha's hand with her other palm. "Your hand sure is warm, Nanoha."

A choked sob escaped Nanoha's throat then, and the tears started to fall faster and freer, trickling down wet cheeks to splatter against the floor of the wooden bridge. Fate felt her heart wrench painfully at the sight, filling her with a dull ache.

Slender fingers lifted to gently brush Nanoha's tears away.

"Something I just learned," Fate murmured quietly, cupping her new friend's cheek, "when you see a friend crying, you also become sad."

"Fate-chan!" Nanoha cried, launching herself at her friend. Slightly taken aback, Fate wrapped her arms around Nanoha, deciding that she liked the warmth of Nanoha pressed against her like that. A single crystal tear landed on brown locks, and only then did Fate realize that she herself was crying.

"I have to leave you for now, but I'm sure we'll meet again," Fate promised Nanoha, stroking the shorter girl's back soothingly as Nanoha cried into her shirt. "When I want to see you, I'll be sure to call out your name."

Nanoha looked up then, beautiful eyes brimming with tears.

"So please, call out my name too." Fate tightened her grip on Nanoha, wanting to protect and comfort her. She didn't ever want to let go.

"Next time when you're the one in trouble, I'm sure I'll be the one to save you," Fate vowed quietly. She had never been so serious about anything in her entire life, but she knew now that she would be the one to save Nanoha, to pick her up when she fell, just like what Nanoha had done for her.

Nanoha buried her head in Fate's chest and cried even harder, warm tears seeping through the cotton of Fate's black shirt and warming the skin beneath.

Fate didn't _ever_ want to let go.

_**  
I clearly remember your voice  
Calling my name  
And like on that day, I will smile**_

Fate stared at the ribbons she gripped tightly in her hand, a silent promise between just the two of them.

The promise of a new beginning.

**END :D**

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, for what was supposed to be a 'short one-shot', this turned out to be the longest piece I've ever written. I don't like it much, if you want my honest opinion. It's too long and draggy, and it doesn't do justice to such an awesome song. :D I tried, though ;;

Anyway, there's not much NanoFate in this one, mainly cause I tried to keep the storyline canon.

You have **Arigatou Sheitarou** to blame for this fic. I was 'ordered' to post something, so I did :P (Her order didn't say anything about it having to be good...) Now go read her awesome fics and spam her with raving reviews, it makes her happy. :D

Also, huge major thanks to Kasumi (aka **Generation-A**) for beta-ing this and editing many grammatical errors! I LOVE YOUUU. :D

Um, for those wondering about Under the Table, I'm sorry for the delay!! I actually have part 3 all planned out, but the words just won't come, grr. I'll get it out though, one day. xP

**PS**: I was thinking that Enraptured is a horribly long name ): I need a shorter one. :D Kasumi suggested En. Hmm.

NOW GO AND REVIEW AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER :D (I'm sick. D:) THANK YOUUU.


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